♥ Life Is Good ♥

I really really like Facebook memories.
Whoever thought of this idea is just brilliant!

One of the days in February, I managed to review what I did on that very day.
For the past 7 years! 7 years, can you imagine how time flies?

16th June. This day also marks a certain significance I guess?

7 years ago today, in 2009:
We were done with Problem Based Learning session for the semester.
It was the very first group we had, for our time in dental school.
I remember that it pretty daunting having to research and discuss a topic.
But when everybody contributed, it was a fun learning experience.

5 years ago today, in 2011:
We set foot in Dunedin, New Zealand.
My first time living outside my home country where I grew up for 20 years.
Left home for long term since. Home became a place I visited instead of staying.
Good thing then was that I had friends to count on, who experienced the same as I.
Missing life in Otago!

3 years ago today, in 2013:
Our final winter break as students.
We left the crazy Dunedin weather for warmer one in Wellington and Melbourne.
It was during my week-long stint at Wellington that change my mindset.
I vowed to never stay/work in a place where I knew no one. Not even for a  year.
Our time in Melbourne was great. It's the most liveable city for a reason.

And today, in 2016:
I received a letter from the Immigration Department - PR approved!
Like finally, after 10 long months of waiting.
It's surreal by its own means, finally not feeling like a second-class citizen.
Even back home, we are sometimes treated like one by the government.
Then followed by the student visa and work visa overseas.

This day, I've noticed significant milestones in my life.
Getting here and being here today, I am very blessed indeed. =)

Have you ever had that feeling of just wanting to cry out loud?
It never really crossed my mind but it happened to me today.

Might be the stress at work I have been receiving the past few weeks?
This is probably the longest period of work without a getaway I had in a while.
I know some of you might say 5 weeks is nothing.
But considering I am practising dentistry every day except (most) Sundays,
compared to lucky people of the world who have 2-day weekends, it is something!

I think the past 2 weeks especially, so much drama every other day.
From lab drama to mentorship drama to work schedule drama etc.
Today's just had to add the icing on the cake!

Late lunch as 12.30pm patient came in at 1pm.
Usually I would ask them to reschedule, but she was 80 years old, so I gave in.
She didn't even say sorry and even asked if her son wants check up after we were done!
Inconsiderate really, why do people like these exist in the world?
Left work 90 minutes late, cos we ran out of materials for the last patient.
I had to send one of the assistants to get them from our nearest branch.
I felt so bad for the patient, cos he was in the clinic for a good 4 hours!
Even my usual happy drink - Mr Bean's Icy Matcha Azuki, didn't help.

I was feeling quite down while on the MRT after leaving the clinic very late.
And while walking home, my eyes started being red and teary.
I tried to controlling it till I reach home as it is embarrassing to cry outside.
But the tears started rolling, I walked as fast as I could.
Avoiding eye contacts while doing so.

I cried. Out loud. Very loud indeed.
The moment I shut the front door behind of me.
For a good 10 minutes, just cried and cried.
And then I felt better.

I wished someone was there to hug me and tell me it was ok and just cry.
A family member or a friend or just anybody really.
But it was just me alone, locked in my room.
If only there was a someone I could go to right now.
But at the same time also don't want to burden others with my emo-ness.

Money can't buy happiness, they say. So true!
My commission this month may be higher, but I didn't feel happier.
Not worth the stress I get in return.

We all must have sad times in order to feel happy again.
I guess this is it. No one is always happy.
I may portray it like I am, but it is the mask I wear.
To hid my negativity away from others, since no one likes it anyway.

Counting down to the days till happiness finds me again!

First time is a mistake.
Second time is a choice.
Third time you are dumb if you don't make noise.

I heard these wise words from a Kdrama that I was watching.
Can't believe it is so applicable in my real life situation right now!

Well, technically not a mistake I made, but more like the feeling of being used.
Just because I didn't say anything earlier as I was trying to be understanding,
doesn't mean I am ok with being constantly targeted.

I must have been dreaming.
There is no way a fairytale like that exist.
Friendly conversation? Haaaa.
I knew something was up and you are just testing the depth of the water.

Always be on your toes, you would never know how deep you will fall.
Never be too nice and show your vulnerable side.
Also, playing dumb for a while can be nice.
The person who tells you stories, will be the first one to spread stories.

Rant over.

This is killing me real bad.
It's always here again that I frequent when I am crying.
It seems to be the same person again and again who brought me such heartache.
Always telling me news that make my life so miserable, yes work related again.
I wanna have somebody to lament with who can actually empathise. 

Don't get me wrong, I really love what I am doing. 
Especially after seeing the happy faces that greeted me after each visit.
It's only been a month but I have been flattered nearly everyday by my patients.
I might not be the most capable or quick handed dentist around, but I really do try my best for them.
I know they can feel my sincerity to actually make time to explain things and listen to them.

But it's the bloody schedule given that is getting on my nerves.
First it was all the night shifts that I have finally came to terms with, I forego normal working hours.
Then barely 3 weeks into the job, I agreed to take over the slots of a fellow colleague on leave for about 3 weeks.
The hours were more normal, but I was made to work some of my timeslots on top of my colleague's.
So that's 6 full days a week, I would be tired as but at least I am based in somewhere I enjoy being.
I didn't mind that, best of what I can have.

Then today, on my 5th week of work, I received another depressing news.
Cutting down sessions in the clinics I am enjoying my work at and increasing session in the one I least enjoy.
Best part is, most of the cases would be referral for dentures by a colleague who don't do any.

I can do dentures but I absolutely despise them cos those patients are the hardest to satisfy.
I can imagine the constant flow of denture cases giving me overwhelming level of stress and constant breakdown.
I witnessed a horrible denture couple this morning and I am completely traumatized.
People who twist your words and not admitting to things they gave informed consent to and just purely making our work life miserable.
Who cares about making money if you aren't happy? 

My assistant who I have been getting close to is saying that she can't handle all these no more. 
People in the upper level don't know what shit assistants face everyday, the latter's job is horrendous!
I might get bullied running in between 3 clinics cos I am a newbie but it's totally unfair to my assistants. 
They gotta handle loose ends from every corner. 

I was really sad with the new schedule. My request to stay on with the current one even got rejected,  how depressing is that?
Reasoning was awesome "cos I've sent the info out to everyone". Yup everyone but me.
Still waiting on that reply for an email I sent end of last month.
Friends from other companies have gotten their pay even when they started later than me.
Now I am actually experiencing the horror stories about my company that was told to me after I signed my contract last year.
Too late to regret I guess?

I really hope this crap can be amended soon.
Just because I am a newbie, doesn't mean I can be bullied just as you wish.
Newbie has feelings too you know?

Despite facing down times, all I need to do is chant the mantras from the patients and try to make myself happy. =)
"This is the best dental clinic experience I had"
"I would totally recommend you to my friends"
"I feel really comfortable with you, shall bring my wife and kids to see you next"
"I want you to do it instead of the specialist. Worse case scenario is that I'll loose a tooth right? I'll let you try, really!"
"I came cos someone has recommended me to"
"Can I get your namecard?"
"Thank you so so much" followed by handshakes and even a bear hug! 

But the best line that really gotten into me and I truly felt appreciated:
"You are officially my favourite dentist"
That was after a torturous clean with massive loads of bleeding!

Presevere Yean!!!

Today, I just feel like writing my mind out.

Before I even talk about how stressed I am now, I've been slacking on my exercise.
I know it's horrible, I feel bad cos I did none for the past 5 days!
I have my reasons cos my carefree weeks have been gone and it's very cold. =(
No excuses, I know. I will work on it soonest!

So back to my rising stress level, there's so many things to be doneeee.
I just got back to school this week after a solid 9 weeks away - holidays and placements!
Assignments are due one after another, and sending out job applications.
I just had my first job interview on Saturday, it went quite alright. =)
We'll see the outcome for that, hopefully it'll be favourable to me.

Got back my IELTS results yesterday, I am happy with everything except my Writing.
How can my written English deteriorate so badly after 5 years? 6 freaking point 5.
Now because of this one section, I may need to re-sit the test that cost me RM 1k +.
What a pain right? I'll just let it be atm. But I am still saddd.

All my senior colleagues have advised to do something I love other than dentistry.
Travelling and baking have been what I enjoy, but all these require funds.
Which is sadly depleting very quickly... I can't wait to earn my own money again!
But in the mean time, I need to find a new hobby or past time that I enjoy, 
so that my sanity can be kept in check! hehe

Who said final year was chillaxing?? I beg to differ.
Just gotta emphasize on how stressed out I am right now: VERYYYYY!
I shall just eat, eat, eat my stress away~ =P

It's July alreadyyy...
From the coming Monday, it'll be my last semester for 5 years of my uni life!
I need to enjoy this to the fullest, cos everyone who started working said so.

So many things need to be sorted at this point of time.
4 weeks of my last ever winter break is ending so soon. It's unbelievable!
Jam-packed days back-to-back from placements to just pure holidays.
But I am so glad I finally had my sleep-in days after a month. =D

Firstly, I need to send out my postcards cos post office ain't open on weekends.
Then start packing. Again? Yes again.
Looking forward to my 5-weeks of intensive actual work!
Then getting my hands on research work, after 5-month of unforeseen delay.
And prepare to sit for my RM1k English test.
Uh huh, the price was so ridiculous that I HAVE TO ace it no matter what!

Job hunt is next, only those few spots available that I have been eyeing for awhile.
I want to get those offers, sometimes we have to be selfish. I realized I am too nice. 
But I can't always share things and let others have an easy way out.
People who conveniently want it too cos we wanted it. You know?
I may not be the smartest or fastest soon-to-be dentist around, but I can be a great one!
The competition is officially ONNNN!

Then I need to complete my quota for clinical work, still getting there.
I believe it's possible if my patients attend all their appointments,
and also if the labwork are processed on time, though there's only very slight possibility!
After that would be preparation for case presentation - oh my god!
Which reminds me that I need to complete this particular patient as soon as possible.
And of course start studying for my theory exams, I haven't actually read in a while. Oops.

It's not just all work and no play obviously!
I have to go skiing and/or snowboarding this year. It's on my checklist for sure.
Cos apparently there's a good amount of snow, very suitable for snow activities. =D
Then it's preparation for graduation ball - the dress, shoes and hair!

Oh, and I must start working out to lose all that weight that I've accumulated.
My once model-material figure (no kidding, scouted before and should have agreed)
is now filled with all that flabbiness and I don't like it. At all.
Call me superficial or whatever, I am not comfortable with my current shape and size.
I have officially increased one dress size from before. Boohooo~
It's no good cos I need that confidence so that my inner beauty can shine too ;)

I need to make myself proud, and most importantly daddy and mummy too!
There's so many things I want to do for them when I actually start work. Like really.
My dearest family, friends and readers (if any), pray for a smooth sailing journey for me!

Tata for now.

# allmustgowell

this is the final part of my trip to Cambodia..
where you'll find the juiciest details.. ok, not really~
but my posts are always interesting, can't deny that! =P

this time around, i have pictures of encounters with celebrities..
and the mastermind of this project as well..
not forgetting some of our activities away from the build site!
excited?? so here goes~

the very first celebrity i met was Leakhena..
apparently she's a very famous Cambodian actress..
who was at my house on the 1st day for less than 2 hours!

at first, i had no clue who she was..
i was wondering why on earth would someone wear make-up,
a short skirt and ballerina pumps at the build site?
her job was to place cement on the bricks and that's it..
and kept on being photographed and videoed a lot!!
i only knew about her celebrity status 30 minutes later.. =.=

Leakhena, who also worked at house no.8 and myself

with DJ Khlaing who sported a Beckham-styled hairdo

Daniel Wu photographed here lining the bricks.. *swoons*
credits to Flickr

but i bet none of them caused a scene like this!

posing for pictures with members of house no.8, 10 & 12

the nice and quiet scene turns chaotic again as they leave!
all of us will start snapping pictures as they wave goodbye..

with local youth volunteers.. our mission accomplished!! =)

such as meeting up with Chhay's best friend Eav..
we had ice-cream at KFC yo!!! they have no McD's there..

we also camwhored after dinner at Titanic Restaurant..
and eventually missed the bus back to the hotel!

we went to a roadside stall opposite the palace.. BUGS anyone??

Heang Siv and Melissa tried them.. crickets were tasty apparently!

room service that serves spiders, crickets and silkworms.. o.O

and of course, we tried delicious meal of red/green curry..
before we depart Phnom Penh.. *yum yum*

we bought souvenirs for Habitat For Humanity Malaysia too!
they should be hanging on the office walls right now.. hehe..

Day 4 of build (Thursday, 19 Nov 2009)

during our days at the build site, lunch breaks were anticipated..
we get to run away from the UV rays from the sunlight,
dust that fly into our eyes and noses - no thanks to the wind..
sit under the shade and enjoy that one hour!

sometimes we get to see people slump onto the tables..
taking a rest after hours of hard work..

but i usually do some shopping with Mel and Giana here!
these stalls are set-up by villagers from nearby..

the kids surrounding Giana to sell her some goods

some of the souvenirs sold..

the metal bars are up..

skilled workers placing the zinc roof..

there was actually a roof model right behind the houses..

Min Tze and local youth volunteers painting the window shutters..

Phally, myself and Larraine painting our doors..

i climbed and sat on the scaffold to do the paintwork!

dried shutters and doors were placed back to their original places..

the kitchen table and the sink were also set up..
notice the bricks below? i laid them, pretty eh~

the guys carried the extra bricks to the back of the houses..

ladies helped the cleaning, seen here are my home owners!

happy family of house no. 8!

with my neighbours next door.. the Kiwis!

youth volunteers from house no.8..

with some international and local youth volunteers..

the ribbon cutting ceremony led by our house leader, Albe..

the key presentation ceremony.. happy-face It Noy!

thinking back of all of beaming faces at that time..
it was indeed a moment to savour!

with my family: Vanneth, It Noy, Thavy and Phally..
they have like another 4 more family members staying here!

Mel and i took pictures with Paul and Aileen Munn plus Vanneth!

they are an Australian couple actually bought this piece of land..
where Sra Pra Village with these 21 houses are built on..
it all started 4 years ago, when they were visiting the dumpsite..
Paul who has polio since birth, fell from the tuk-tuk he was on..
2 boys rush to the scene and helped to carry him up..
one of them was my home owners' son, Vanneth..
their kindness touched Paul's heart..
and he was determined to find a new place for the families there!

we had big feast at the build site for dinner..
the food catered were pretty scrumptious.. =)

now, let's continue with our journey.. =)

lucky us, we have a twin sharing room.. room 250!

my usual breakfast during my week there consisted of:
omelete, bacon, baked beans, ham, sausages, pastry and cereal..

walking towards the build site after exiting the bus..

we were greeted by a performing troop..

the front of the house.. 1 layer of cement and 2 layers of bricks!

the back of the house.. toilet was already built with toilet bowls in it..

each brick was this heavy.. around 8kg!!!

hammering the bricks..

excess cement were removed and gaps were filled!

this is how they the windows were fixed..

with bus B.. the banner was up during the 2nd day of the build

safety helmets were a must from that day onwards..
as our walls are getting higher, safety precaution is strictly adhered!

me passing a brick to Non.. a lot of stretching that day..

myself with the tools used while doing the cementing..

Mel doing the patching up work..

Andrew and i "attacking" each other..

locked behind bars (of the door)..

Vanneth, the son of my house owner helping us out!

this is me eating green banana for the first time!

house owners, volunteers, workers ate together during lunch!

our typical lunch box.. pretty filling!

Non doing the balancing act on the walls

i finally dared to climb up the scaffolding..
a lot of courage and strength needed!

and helped out with the patch work on top!

the medical center for any case of emergency!