♥ Life Is Good ♥

People. They come and go in our lives.

I consider myself lucky and blessed.
As a daughter, niece, cousin, friend, colleague and dentist, I am grateful.
These few weeks, I have been receiving encouragement and positive vibes.

Family has been proud of the person I have become.
Someone who has been capable of taking care herself and surrounding people.
Able to be carefree yet grounded at the same time.
Family is one of my priorities, so is filial piety.

Friends have thought of me as someone who deserves a gold medal in friendship.
And that I was like a candle that comes to their minds, when in time of darkness.
Glad that I can do the part of providing a listening ear and a shoulder to hang on.
I always try my best for our relationship, I hope the same for you.

Colleagues have thought of me as one of the roots of their lives.
Apparently there are tree (pun intended) types of people: leaf, branch and root.
The type who is hard to find, hold others up to help them live strong and healthy.
One who stays low key and will be happy for others who thrive.

Patients have mentioned that I was kind, meticulous and understanding.
Thankfully 99% of my patients smile when they leave my room.
Some apparently have raved about me to their family and friends.
I am glad they like my personality and my services, please do recommend more.

I really really like Facebook memories.
Whoever thought of this idea is just brilliant!

One of the days in February, I managed to review what I did on that very day.
For the past 7 years! 7 years, can you imagine how time flies?

16th June. This day also marks a certain significance I guess?

7 years ago today, in 2009:
We were done with Problem Based Learning session for the semester.
It was the very first group we had, for our time in dental school.
I remember that it pretty daunting having to research and discuss a topic.
But when everybody contributed, it was a fun learning experience.

5 years ago today, in 2011:
We set foot in Dunedin, New Zealand.
My first time living outside my home country where I grew up for 20 years.
Left home for long term since. Home became a place I visited instead of staying.
Good thing then was that I had friends to count on, who experienced the same as I.
Missing life in Otago!

3 years ago today, in 2013:
Our final winter break as students.
We left the crazy Dunedin weather for warmer one in Wellington and Melbourne.
It was during my week-long stint at Wellington that change my mindset.
I vowed to never stay/work in a place where I knew no one. Not even for a  year.
Our time in Melbourne was great. It's the most liveable city for a reason.

And today, in 2016:
I received a letter from the Immigration Department - PR approved!
Like finally, after 10 long months of waiting.
It's surreal by its own means, finally not feeling like a second-class citizen.
Even back home, we are sometimes treated like one by the government.
Then followed by the student visa and work visa overseas.

This day, I've noticed significant milestones in my life.
Getting here and being here today, I am very blessed indeed. =)

Have you ever had that feeling of just wanting to cry out loud?
It never really crossed my mind but it happened to me today.

Might be the stress at work I have been receiving the past few weeks?
This is probably the longest period of work without a getaway I had in a while.
I know some of you might say 5 weeks is nothing.
But considering I am practising dentistry every day except (most) Sundays,
compared to lucky people of the world who have 2-day weekends, it is something!

I think the past 2 weeks especially, so much drama every other day.
From lab drama to mentorship drama to work schedule drama etc.
Today's just had to add the icing on the cake!

Late lunch as 12.30pm patient came in at 1pm.
Usually I would ask them to reschedule, but she was 80 years old, so I gave in.
She didn't even say sorry and even asked if her son wants check up after we were done!
Inconsiderate really, why do people like these exist in the world?
Left work 90 minutes late, cos we ran out of materials for the last patient.
I had to send one of the assistants to get them from our nearest branch.
I felt so bad for the patient, cos he was in the clinic for a good 4 hours!
Even my usual happy drink - Mr Bean's Icy Matcha Azuki, didn't help.

I was feeling quite down while on the MRT after leaving the clinic very late.
And while walking home, my eyes started being red and teary.
I tried to controlling it till I reach home as it is embarrassing to cry outside.
But the tears started rolling, I walked as fast as I could.
Avoiding eye contacts while doing so.

I cried. Out loud. Very loud indeed.
The moment I shut the front door behind of me.
For a good 10 minutes, just cried and cried.
And then I felt better.

I wished someone was there to hug me and tell me it was ok and just cry.
A family member or a friend or just anybody really.
But it was just me alone, locked in my room.
If only there was a someone I could go to right now.
But at the same time also don't want to burden others with my emo-ness.

Money can't buy happiness, they say. So true!
My commission this month may be higher, but I didn't feel happier.
Not worth the stress I get in return.

We all must have sad times in order to feel happy again.
I guess this is it. No one is always happy.
I may portray it like I am, but it is the mask I wear.
To hid my negativity away from others, since no one likes it anyway.

Counting down to the days till happiness finds me again!

Good mornings and good nights.

I haven't felt like this in a long while.
Smiling at the littlest things even at randomest times.
My heart races, yet it feels so comfortable.
It feels kind of foreign! Haha.

Looking forward if there is more to come.
Thank you for saying hi first =)

First time is a mistake.
Second time is a choice.
Third time you are dumb if you don't make noise.

I heard these wise words from a Kdrama that I was watching.
Can't believe it is so applicable in my real life situation right now!

Well, technically not a mistake I made, but more like the feeling of being used.
Just because I didn't say anything earlier as I was trying to be understanding,
doesn't mean I am ok with being constantly targeted.

I must have been dreaming.
There is no way a fairytale like that exist.
Friendly conversation? Haaaa.
I knew something was up and you are just testing the depth of the water.

Always be on your toes, you would never know how deep you will fall.
Never be too nice and show your vulnerable side.
Also, playing dumb for a while can be nice.
The person who tells you stories, will be the first one to spread stories.

Rant over.

Today, I just feel like writing my mind out.

I have just came across random posts and I can't help to think about this.
It's about homosexuality. (Don't give me that look!)
I am writing it here cos no one actually reads my blog which is good. haha.

Homosexuality is not legally acceptable back home,
although same-sex marriage has been legalised here earlier this year.
But the thing is, each time I head home, I see more and more same-sex couples.
More lesbians than gays. You can actually tell that they are from uni-sex school.
And they are usually of high school age who usually show public display of affection.
They can't help but to fall in love with each other, I get it.

I have friends who are gays and lesbians, we know of it but we don't speak about it.
It can be quite a sensitive issue for some people.
I have no problems with homosexual people unless of cos they fall for me.
That I will freak out! But I don't think I have that kind of charm. haha.

Jokes aside. I am going to be a bit sexist labeling people as gay or lesbian ok?

You know how gay guys would date other gay guys?
Both of them are usually pretty similar.
They are exceptionally good looking (most of the times), 
they dress very well (whether like a gentleman or what we call very "metro"),
they are near perfect in presenting themselves - speaking or eating habits,
they are usually very well-groomed and neat,
they appear to be the best person you can b*tch with and confide to,
they are like the perfect guy for every girl, just that they are not meant for us.

There is one thing I don't understand and / or don't make sense.
How come lesbians aren't like that?
Both of them are usually the opposite.
One half would be more masculine and the other half is feminine.
So the feminine one would be a typical girly girl usually.
The more masculine one would dress, walk, talk, act exactly like a guy,
trying to fit in with the bros and usually hang out with a bunch of guys.
I have not personally seen a pair masculine looking lesbians together.
And maybe only a handful pairs of feminine looking lesbians in my lifetime.

Masculine looking lesbians couples would be a bit weird I reckon.
Cos it technically means you are attracted to a guy, and that you want to be a guy too.
I think for me, a most ideal lesbian couple would be two very feminine ladies.
You know how some girls make a remark upon seeing another really hot female?
"I would totally turn lesbian for her" - physical attraction comes first here.

My question is: why would a girl turn lesbian for a girl who looks exactly like a guy?
I am really curious. Why why why, tell me why!
That has been in my mind and got a little annoying, hence the post.
Some day I hope to be enlightened, really.

Someone once asked me when will I ever let myself loose,
just let things be and go with the flow.
I don't know the answer, it's not my nature to keep myself off guard.

I may not be the perfect person who says the perfect lines
or even do the perfect actions at the perfect time.
I just try to be the best person I can be for myself and people around me.

Sometimes I do wish you were here right beside me.
Randoms that we talk or rant about.
Things you say that made me smile.
Silly little details that you explained even without me asking.

We won't know for sure what happens in the future.
Enjoy the moment, live the moment.

If only timing and place is right.

Before I even talk about how stressed I am now, I've been slacking on my exercise.
I know it's horrible, I feel bad cos I did none for the past 5 days!
I have my reasons cos my carefree weeks have been gone and it's very cold. =(
No excuses, I know. I will work on it soonest!

So back to my rising stress level, there's so many things to be doneeee.
I just got back to school this week after a solid 9 weeks away - holidays and placements!
Assignments are due one after another, and sending out job applications.
I just had my first job interview on Saturday, it went quite alright. =)
We'll see the outcome for that, hopefully it'll be favourable to me.

Got back my IELTS results yesterday, I am happy with everything except my Writing.
How can my written English deteriorate so badly after 5 years? 6 freaking point 5.
Now because of this one section, I may need to re-sit the test that cost me RM 1k +.
What a pain right? I'll just let it be atm. But I am still saddd.

All my senior colleagues have advised to do something I love other than dentistry.
Travelling and baking have been what I enjoy, but all these require funds.
Which is sadly depleting very quickly... I can't wait to earn my own money again!
But in the mean time, I need to find a new hobby or past time that I enjoy, 
so that my sanity can be kept in check! hehe

Who said final year was chillaxing?? I beg to differ.
Just gotta emphasize on how stressed out I am right now: VERYYYYY!
I shall just eat, eat, eat my stress away~ =P

I completed my 30 Day Challenges for squats and beginner's push up today!
Feeling so happy to have completed it, such an accomplishment. haha.

I can feel my thigh and shin muscles firming up instead of the tau fu fa consistency.
Arms are still flabby though not as much, still working on it~
I lost a little weight the last time I was on a scale, so my effort is slowly paying off! 

Ohhhh and I was skiing for the first time yesterday, it spelled F-U-N !!!
So for obvious reasons my arm muscles are a bit sore today and some bruises on the shin.
But thanks to the light exercises I've been doing, the soreness was milder than expected!

Tomorrow I shall start with my abs and push up challenges for the next 30 days.
Wait and see world, I'll be a fitter and leaner me by my target date: 7 November 2013!

#ICanDoIt

Graduation is exactly 6 months away and I am determined to be in good shape!

Target weight loss: 5kg
Target waist circumference loss: 3 inches
Target fit and healthy date: 7 November 2013

I am writing this down so that the world knows and will bug me to do it. =)

I have just started a 30-Day Challenge today, actually it's a 2-in-1.
Just the beginners push-ups and squats ones for home workout!
I chose this option rather than at the gym cos I'll be more likely to do it.
Cos gym will be pretty much inaccessible to me for the next 5 weeks.
I have been lacking exercise, so obviously I was panting by end of Day 1.
It'll get tougher, but I WILL COMPLETE the challenges!

Why do I chose to do it now you may ask?
I looked at myself at the mirror last night and my first thought was "oh shittt".
After my 3-weeks of feasting every meal during my trips,
every picture I see of myself is getting rounder and rounder.
And it just had to stop before thing get worse!
I told myself I have to start today and not wait till I have time.

I went through a few random blogs, friends' and friends of friends' included.
I am inspired by them and I just need to do this. 
I'll update my progress in 30 days time.
I know I can do this. Wish me luck! =)

It's July alreadyyy...
From the coming Monday, it'll be my last semester for 5 years of my uni life!
I need to enjoy this to the fullest, cos everyone who started working said so.

So many things need to be sorted at this point of time.
4 weeks of my last ever winter break is ending so soon. It's unbelievable!
Jam-packed days back-to-back from placements to just pure holidays.
But I am so glad I finally had my sleep-in days after a month. =D

Firstly, I need to send out my postcards cos post office ain't open on weekends.
Then start packing. Again? Yes again.
Looking forward to my 5-weeks of intensive actual work!
Then getting my hands on research work, after 5-month of unforeseen delay.
And prepare to sit for my RM1k English test.
Uh huh, the price was so ridiculous that I HAVE TO ace it no matter what!

Job hunt is next, only those few spots available that I have been eyeing for awhile.
I want to get those offers, sometimes we have to be selfish. I realized I am too nice. 
But I can't always share things and let others have an easy way out.
People who conveniently want it too cos we wanted it. You know?
I may not be the smartest or fastest soon-to-be dentist around, but I can be a great one!
The competition is officially ONNNN!

Then I need to complete my quota for clinical work, still getting there.
I believe it's possible if my patients attend all their appointments,
and also if the labwork are processed on time, though there's only very slight possibility!
After that would be preparation for case presentation - oh my god!
Which reminds me that I need to complete this particular patient as soon as possible.
And of course start studying for my theory exams, I haven't actually read in a while. Oops.

It's not just all work and no play obviously!
I have to go skiing and/or snowboarding this year. It's on my checklist for sure.
Cos apparently there's a good amount of snow, very suitable for snow activities. =D
Then it's preparation for graduation ball - the dress, shoes and hair!

Oh, and I must start working out to lose all that weight that I've accumulated.
My once model-material figure (no kidding, scouted before and should have agreed)
is now filled with all that flabbiness and I don't like it. At all.
Call me superficial or whatever, I am not comfortable with my current shape and size.
I have officially increased one dress size from before. Boohooo~
It's no good cos I need that confidence so that my inner beauty can shine too ;)

I need to make myself proud, and most importantly daddy and mummy too!
There's so many things I want to do for them when I actually start work. Like really.
My dearest family, friends and readers (if any), pray for a smooth sailing journey for me!

Tata for now.

# allmustgowell

Have you ever had moments where you want to slap someone just right then?
I just did today!!! It's so annoyinggg.

I am usually a pretty patient and happy-to-accommodate person.
But one's patience has its limits, and I am sure my limit is quite high.
So for me to have the urge to slap someone, after rolling my eyes of cos is like WOW!

I know that I like to do things my way and systematically.
Call me a perfectionist, I know. I will even try to make every minute detail perfect.
When things don't go my way, I'll voice it out and make sure it's heard. Oh yeah~
But if changes are needed, I will try to accommodate so that everyone's happy.

When I have a deadline for something, I will get it done well by then.
I will stay up late all night if I have to.
I will bug people if I need to.
I will go mountain high and ocean deep , as long as I get the work done.
And I mean done right and on time, you can take my word for it!

So I really don't get when some people just can't seem to do that.
Nobody is perfect, I know. 
How about trying your best to be as close to perfect as possible?
I don't freaking care if you aren't as efficient or as organised as I am.
I really don't, cos it's your life and your problem.
But if messed up my so-called perfectionism, you are going down man.

Why is it so difficult just to do your part?
It's not like we chose you to, you volunteered to do so.
But yet when I gave you a time limit, you missed it.
Never mind if it's wayyy past deadline, at least better late than never right?
But after rounds and rounds of bugging, you've finally submitted it.
Guess what? You submitted it but information is W.R.O.N.G.
Well done, really, well done.

I am trying my best to be a team player here.
You don't even try to put in an effort to be part of the team.
How do you expect me to work with you?
You are not the only one who is busy you know.

You should be thankful you weren't seeing me face-to-face.
Cos you would have seen my happy-turned-"du lan" face.
The angel in me disappeared and all hell broke lose.
I didn't get to say WTF to your face, 
but my poor friends had to listen to my rantings. Thank you friends!

I will cool down after going to bed soon.
But if the application is not approved, trust me, I will be madder than I am now.
You just wait and see. You better pray hard it will be approved!

I don't usually write stuff like these right here cos I absolutely dislike politics.
Just suddenly felt like ranting out my feelings!

I personally believe all politicians may or may not begin their careers for a good cause,
but would eventually be lured by corruption as they climb up the ladder of success.
Whether they are from the ruling Government or the Opposition.
I am not referring to Malaysian politicians alone but around the globe!

I mean seriously, humans in general are greedy.
The more we have, the more we want the never ending satisfactions.
I've been there, done that - so no doubts about that!

The most talked about news back home now is the 13th General Elections (GE 13).
Parliament was dissolved few days ago, so the GE 13 date should be announced ASAP!
It'll save the troubles and funds of parties promoting themselves and destroying the others.

I believe Malaysians already have their votes in mind, just waiting to cast them.
And we're all just praying it'll be as fair and square as possible.
Cos we are already anticipating fake votes that magically appear and disappear.

I don't particularly favour any political party back home.
Couldn't be bothered with their manifesto and stuff, cos I know it's all bullsh*t.

Some of the ridiculous or unrealistic examples, from both sides, in my opinion are:
"Free education for all up to university level" 
I reckon taxes would need to be insanely high!
I would rather they make it compulsory to finish high school or vocational training.
Or at least train the teachers better so they could teach students proper English.
I know a final year TESOL trainee who once said "I want to be a better cooker".
Not funny at all, considering he's going to teach our future generations.

"RM200 off smartphones for youths earning RM3000 and below"
If they can't afford to fend for themselves with the income, how can they settle the bills?
I was charged RM650 a month alone (RM1 per 1MB) for using 650MB =.=
It was the telecommunication operator's fault cos I did sign up for the data package.
But even said so, RM50 for 500MB  package is not cheap either - crazy 3G charges!
I would rather the government slowly implement Free WiFi throughout the country.

"Increasing annual cash handouts to RM1200 to poor households through BR1M scheme"
If you have mentioned it's for vote buying, I would say you still have some conscience.
But by denying the fact, you've just made a fool out of yourself in front of the Rakyat.
I would like to see how long your family could last with additional RM100 each month.
How about increasing the minimum wage per hour? 
RM3.50 per hour working part time at McDonald's can't even buy you a meal there.
Providing clean piped water or food for the poor would have been a better option too!

"The 1Malaysia Ideology"
Malaysia has always been multi-ethnic and generally peaceful place to live in.
Well in my opinion, until they decide to politicized this and stoking tensions among races.
If you REALLY want a 1Malaysia, be a Singapore minus the mainland Chinese immigrants.
Everyone would have the equal chances to enter public universities, 
to get bank loans and pay equal interests, to buy houses or lands at the same price,
to have the same opportunities for government business deals,
or even to be the next Prime Minister of Malaysia etc. Just saying.
I actually can't think of another country whose political function of rights,
actually protects the majorities rather than the minorities. Can you? 

I am sure there are plenty more of these, nothing and nobody is fool proof.
The current ruling Government has been there for 56 years, they have done good in the past.
Older generations and their supporters especially are in the comfort zone,
only reading from newspapers, they may be thinking "if there's nothing wrong, don't fix it".
I mean our newspapers are all government-controlled anyway, eg. think of the Psy event.

It's the younger generations who usually access to the world wide web.
Everything that goes on the internet, knows no boundaries and may even go viral.
So there are videos, pictures and even articles about everything that happened.
A lot of effort, skills and time would be required to do any editing.
So if something that happened a minute ago is posted up now, it'll most likely be true.
I mean, we are the generation who want the "in" news to be up immediately, right?
The internet news would have shown the flaws of the current Government,
that's why it's the tech-savvy and thinking Rakyat that would want a change.

A change can be for the better or the worse, we'll never know until we try!
Chances are that the next ruling Government will be pressured to live up to expectations.
What is the worst case scenario if the current Opposition wins?
Malaysians would probably need to suffer for the next 5 years.
But what is 5 years if it could lead to a better Malaysia?
It definitely can't be worse than the 3 years of sufferings during the Japanese occupation.
Our parents and grandparents have survived through that, I am sure we would too.

I really can't wait to cast my first ever vote!
Hopefully the Election Commission will notify me soon enough cos every vote counts.
May the better party bring our beloved Malaysia closer towards achieving Vision 2020!

It's amazing how someone with disabilities can be so optimistic about life.

Someone who was diagnosed with a disease a couple of years ago at a young age.
Now limping and with very limited eyesight, yet so bubbly and cheerful.
Maybe it's the support from loved ones around her?

They are the type of people who make us think and count our blessings.
Be appreciative of what we currently have instead of mourning on what we don't have.
Mummy has always told us to compare with less fortunate rather than the rich.
So I personally think people like them make really good role models.

I did nothing but just a twist using the pliers, that made her day!
She was even happier than when she first entered.
Thanking me again and again plus telling her husband how wonderful she's feeling.
That genuine smile on her face totally made my day!

I had a pretty rough day yesterday, but today, I ended my day with a smile. =)

"Dreams are simply reality waiting to happen."

I came across this very well said quote.
This caught me off guard, and made me think for a moment.

I kept myself so busy with reality for the longest time that I forgot about my dreams.
I can't even remember what my dream was, or whether I ever had one.
Which is pretty sad coming to think of it.

I shall try to dream big from now, cos apparently dreams will come true.
Well, as long as we work hard for it - there's no easy way out.

What's your dream? =)

Sometimes I just get bored of studying for exams.
It feels like reading and re-reading the notes... say what - again?!
All I hope is for the information to stay! reallyyy.
and pray that they appear in a jiffy when I need them. =) 

I've stumbled upon a forum with dentists and doctors as members.
Healthcare professionals are definitely in a whole different level
compare to any Tom, Dick and Harry in other forums!
They don't put each other down (except certain douchebags),
but instead justify their thoughts - both pros and cons.

The question was posted by a person in a crossroad:
"Medicine or Dentistry?"

The best comment I've read was:
"The fun part of Medicine is in the diagnosis, 
treatment is often simply following a protocol developed by others.
In the Dentistry, the easy part is usually the diagnosis,
and the fun part comes in developing and carrying out a treatment plan.
To grossly simplify: Medicine is for thinkers, Dentistry is for doers".

I was never in that crossroad but those were very wise words indeed.
I am definitely a doer, glad I made the right choice!
And I am loving it so far!! 
Ok, maybe except during the exam period. =P

Just looking through my lil bro's photo album on FB, my tears started rolling.

The photos were all from cousin Lee's wedding two weekends back.
For a dear cousin who's wedding I've always wanted to attend since forever?
I've only managed to be there virtually via Skype.

Seeing those photos one after another, I miss my family more than ever!
I haven't felt homesick for months since I arrived, I thought I've adapted.
But today, my first stream of tears (of missing home) came along.
Mummy I miss most, followed by Daddy then Haw and Shyang.

Maybe it was the relief from Long Case Exam?
Or the stress for upcoming OSCE?
Or the Perio assignment due?
Or the last written finals in my uni life?
Or the heartwarming chats with my loved ones?

Whatever the reason, I am actually counting the days to home sweet home!

My very first encounter during Spring was last year.
It was more often wet and rainy than it is filled with sunshine.
My less than sturdy umbrella (bought urgently in Tokyo) barely survived the wind!


So of all the seasons I've experienced here, Spring lies in the bottom of my list.
The weather here is nowhere near those seen in Hollywood movies. Haha

It's nearly 2 weeks into Spring this year, there were more sunshine.
And I thought "Heyyy, the weather is not too bad! Sunny and the warm breeze" =)
So we headed out for some picture-perfect moments last Saturday.
We ain't gonna miss another year of cherry blossoms!
Cos we were a week late last year, and most of them were already on the ground.