♥ Life Is Good ♥

Can't believe the year is coming to an end so soon!

First time is a mistake.
Second time is a choice.
Third time you are dumb if you don't make noise.

I heard these wise words from a Kdrama that I was watching.
Can't believe it is so applicable in my real life situation right now!

Well, technically not a mistake I made, but more like the feeling of being used.
Just because I didn't say anything earlier as I was trying to be understanding,
doesn't mean I am ok with being constantly targeted.

I must have been dreaming.
There is no way a fairytale like that exist.
Friendly conversation? Haaaa.
I knew something was up and you are just testing the depth of the water.

Always be on your toes, you would never know how deep you will fall.
Never be too nice and show your vulnerable side.
Also, playing dumb for a while can be nice.
The person who tells you stories, will be the first one to spread stories.

Rant over.

4th Merdeka away from home, I feel a little bit more patriotic.
Haven't been needing to identify myself by race, but just simply "I am Malaysian".

We probably could learn a thing or two from our neighbour down south,
not that they are always better.
Came across a speech by Singapore's first President Yusof Ishak:
"No man need feel to belong to a particular religion puts him at a disadvantage
or gives him an advantage. This is how things are in Singapore
and this is how things will always be in our country. Only in this way 
will a multicultural society like Singapore can live in peace and harmony."
I believe this was what our first Prime Minister Tunku Abdul Rahman
and his troupe had in mind when they paved way for our independence.

I longed for the day that Malaysia would just be the same.
Can you imagine that on top of melting pot of cultures and our amazing variety of food?
We would be unstoppable then.
Perhaps one day when Malaysians of my generation are leading the country?
I hope children of our children will be able to experience that too.

One person's thought may not make much of a difference,
but many people with the same thought may contribute to the gradual changes
till the outcome we desire. This is something to ponder about.

Happy blessed 57th Merdeka my fellow Malaysians! =)

P/S: Check out Tunku's 1957 Merdeka speech read by fellow Malaysians here. 
        Listen till the end! 

This is killing me real bad.
It's always here again that I frequent when I am crying.
It seems to be the same person again and again who brought me such heartache.
Always telling me news that make my life so miserable, yes work related again.
I wanna have somebody to lament with who can actually empathise. 

Don't get me wrong, I really love what I am doing. 
Especially after seeing the happy faces that greeted me after each visit.
It's only been a month but I have been flattered nearly everyday by my patients.
I might not be the most capable or quick handed dentist around, but I really do try my best for them.
I know they can feel my sincerity to actually make time to explain things and listen to them.

But it's the bloody schedule given that is getting on my nerves.
First it was all the night shifts that I have finally came to terms with, I forego normal working hours.
Then barely 3 weeks into the job, I agreed to take over the slots of a fellow colleague on leave for about 3 weeks.
The hours were more normal, but I was made to work some of my timeslots on top of my colleague's.
So that's 6 full days a week, I would be tired as but at least I am based in somewhere I enjoy being.
I didn't mind that, best of what I can have.

Then today, on my 5th week of work, I received another depressing news.
Cutting down sessions in the clinics I am enjoying my work at and increasing session in the one I least enjoy.
Best part is, most of the cases would be referral for dentures by a colleague who don't do any.

I can do dentures but I absolutely despise them cos those patients are the hardest to satisfy.
I can imagine the constant flow of denture cases giving me overwhelming level of stress and constant breakdown.
I witnessed a horrible denture couple this morning and I am completely traumatized.
People who twist your words and not admitting to things they gave informed consent to and just purely making our work life miserable.
Who cares about making money if you aren't happy? 

My assistant who I have been getting close to is saying that she can't handle all these no more. 
People in the upper level don't know what shit assistants face everyday, the latter's job is horrendous!
I might get bullied running in between 3 clinics cos I am a newbie but it's totally unfair to my assistants. 
They gotta handle loose ends from every corner. 

I was really sad with the new schedule. My request to stay on with the current one even got rejected,  how depressing is that?
Reasoning was awesome "cos I've sent the info out to everyone". Yup everyone but me.
Still waiting on that reply for an email I sent end of last month.
Friends from other companies have gotten their pay even when they started later than me.
Now I am actually experiencing the horror stories about my company that was told to me after I signed my contract last year.
Too late to regret I guess?

I really hope this crap can be amended soon.
Just because I am a newbie, doesn't mean I can be bullied just as you wish.
Newbie has feelings too you know?

Despite facing down times, all I need to do is chant the mantras from the patients and try to make myself happy. =)
"This is the best dental clinic experience I had"
"I would totally recommend you to my friends"
"I feel really comfortable with you, shall bring my wife and kids to see you next"
"I want you to do it instead of the specialist. Worse case scenario is that I'll loose a tooth right? I'll let you try, really!"
"I came cos someone has recommended me to"
"Can I get your namecard?"
"Thank you so so much" followed by handshakes and even a bear hug! 

But the best line that really gotten into me and I truly felt appreciated:
"You are officially my favourite dentist"
That was after a torturous clean with massive loads of bleeding!

Presevere Yean!!!

Today, I just feel like writing my mind out.

I have spent months away from home, and this is my first two weeks back home.

As much as I missed the food, my family and friends and tons of malls to hang out in,
nothing beyond all these that I actually enjoy in this place I called home.
I can say I am quite well traveled, and I know the good and bad side of things.
The grass can be greener on the other side, but that's not always the case.
I say this based on my own personal experience.

There's one thing I hope can change for the better - the Malaysian mindset.
I know some would say I always only pin-point the negatives.
I have to agree to some extent, but I try to look at the bright side too.
The thing is, majority of Malaysians think and act the same.
And that really really irks me!

I've not experienced any so called "Malaysian Hospitality" since I got home.
Ok, maybe I did on my flights back home and outbound for my holidays.
The chief steward and older cabin crew in my MAS flight from AUK-KL were nice,
they treated me well throughout the 11-hour journey home, no complains there.
I received better treatment when the chief steward found out I was a dentist.
Even a newly graduated one is entitled to better hospitality.
He gave me a cup of Maggi mee filled with chicken, fish ball, prawns and vegetable
after our conversation about life stories, without me requesting for it.
And a slice of chocolate cake from Business Class right after I finished my dinner.
"Cos it's not everyday that I get to serve a dentist." he said. Awww.
You might say it's double standard, I agree, but he gets nothing out it.
He doesn't know my name, probably forgotten my face by now.
I will always remember is his farewell greetings "Thank you and good luck, dentist!"

I can't say the same for the younger cabin crew in the same flight.
I've pressed the flight attendant button and requested just plain water.
I think I pressed the button thrice before someone came to my service.
That's fine, but after that I had to ask 3 different flight attendants for water,
before the last flight attendant finally brought me some, a good 30 minutes later.
The flight attendant didn't even smile when serving or when I said thank you!

When I did my shopping in Forever 21 Pavillion just yesterday,
the service by the shop attendants at the changing room was horrible.
I went in twice and both were similar experience - from queuing to my turn. 
Those girls treated customers as if we were transparent.
It was bad enough that they sulk when removing the clothes from the hanger,
worse when they slam the hanger on the table after,
worst when they raised their voice (like shouting) right in front of your face,
while talking about their shifts and with the b*tch faces.
And they actually think it's alright to say "thank you" in a softer but forceful manner,
without smiling or looking into your eyes. If you don't mean it, just don't say it!

In H&M Pavillion however,  I had a slightly better shopping experience.
Malaysians are not known for their friendly customer services but the cashier was polite.
She smile as she greeted me, when collecting money and when saying thank you.
That is the very least a customer service personnel should be.
It would have been better if they attempt to strike a conversation with you.

In NZ, the standard no matter where you is "Hi, how are you?", 
but they don't expect you to answer. I know it's weird, didn't get used to it at all.
When I do, they would be pleasantly surprised and reply "I am good, thanks".
Sometimes the conversation can flow to "How can I help you today?", "I love this too!"
"This is such a bargain isn't it?", "The weather's excellent / horrible today"
and a few times "Your jacket is a beautiful, where did you get it from?"
This is solely the friendly Kiwis, you don't get the same treatment in Australia either.
It may be difficult to start an awkward conversation here, 
we were taught not to talk to strangers from young but the very least SMILE!

My first nasi lemak in months was at Village Park in Uptown Damansara.
They were busy, serve 5-star meals with efficiency but friendliness was 3 stars.
Cos they seem to want to get us out of their way constantly.
Similar busy restaurant Nirwana in Bangsar where I had banana leaf rice,
had 4-star meals with efficiency with 5-star service.
They were quick to serve, smiled and laughed with us when serving.
When the queue was getting longer, they started clearing our banana leaves,
and politely asked if we wanted to order more drinks.
That was a sign for us to pay and leave but in a more socially acceptable manner.

So please Malaysians, be pleasant to everybody although you can't please everybody.
My philosophy has always been "treat people the way you want to be treated",
cos whatever you do, karma can go both ways. 
Be positive, show fellow Malaysians and visitors our Malaysian Hospitality! =)

Enough for now, more rantings next blogpost before New Years. =P

I have just came across random posts and I can't help to think about this.
It's about homosexuality. (Don't give me that look!)
I am writing it here cos no one actually reads my blog which is good. haha.

Homosexuality is not legally acceptable back home,
although same-sex marriage has been legalised here earlier this year.
But the thing is, each time I head home, I see more and more same-sex couples.
More lesbians than gays. You can actually tell that they are from uni-sex school.
And they are usually of high school age who usually show public display of affection.
They can't help but to fall in love with each other, I get it.

I have friends who are gays and lesbians, we know of it but we don't speak about it.
It can be quite a sensitive issue for some people.
I have no problems with homosexual people unless of cos they fall for me.
That I will freak out! But I don't think I have that kind of charm. haha.

Jokes aside. I am going to be a bit sexist labeling people as gay or lesbian ok?

You know how gay guys would date other gay guys?
Both of them are usually pretty similar.
They are exceptionally good looking (most of the times), 
they dress very well (whether like a gentleman or what we call very "metro"),
they are near perfect in presenting themselves - speaking or eating habits,
they are usually very well-groomed and neat,
they appear to be the best person you can b*tch with and confide to,
they are like the perfect guy for every girl, just that they are not meant for us.

There is one thing I don't understand and / or don't make sense.
How come lesbians aren't like that?
Both of them are usually the opposite.
One half would be more masculine and the other half is feminine.
So the feminine one would be a typical girly girl usually.
The more masculine one would dress, walk, talk, act exactly like a guy,
trying to fit in with the bros and usually hang out with a bunch of guys.
I have not personally seen a pair masculine looking lesbians together.
And maybe only a handful pairs of feminine looking lesbians in my lifetime.

Masculine looking lesbians couples would be a bit weird I reckon.
Cos it technically means you are attracted to a guy, and that you want to be a guy too.
I think for me, a most ideal lesbian couple would be two very feminine ladies.
You know how some girls make a remark upon seeing another really hot female?
"I would totally turn lesbian for her" - physical attraction comes first here.

My question is: why would a girl turn lesbian for a girl who looks exactly like a guy?
I am really curious. Why why why, tell me why!
That has been in my mind and got a little annoying, hence the post.
Some day I hope to be enlightened, really.

Undergraduate exams are finally OVER!!