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Sunday, May 11, 2008

crying like nobody's business!

i am crying like nobody's business right now!
locked in my room typing this post..
the reason is because i am both touched and hurt..


i have no idea what went wrong today.. like seriously..
since we returned home quite late last night,
we were at my uncle's house for dinner last night..
we spent like a total of 6 hours there..
it was my late grandpa's birthday yesterday, i didn't know..

all of us had a great time watching tv together, i believed..
first it was the super funny "Super Trio" and continued by
"America's Next Top Model" marathon.. 4 hours consecutively!
both males and females of the family were involved! =P

ya, so i got up late today.. i think around 10am..
i know i am not a good daughter..
Mother's Day also don't wake up early to prepare breakfast..
but i was seriously very tired..
plus i had to wake up very early for MUET yesterday!

after i had freshen up myself, the first thing i did was
give my mum a big hug and a big fat kiss.. *priceless gift*
ok, so during breakfast she was reading the papers..
then she started telling my dad and i about some May 13
article in the Star.. her explanation was somehow unclear..
so i asked some questions to verify la..
after that she left the dining table and i continued eating..

this is where the climax started..
out of the blue, like some 20 minutes later..
my mum started lecturing me with an angry tone..
try and guess what was the reason behind it?
it was my question about "whose baby was that?"
(a baby cried and the guy say it was a cat in that article)

so i was like WTH???
then she started going on about me being so naive..
everything about me also more important about others..
(for me, i will definitely deal with my stuff before kepoh-ing)
continued about how i haven't been helping much with chores!
a kakak comes few times a week, still need my help meh?
isn't washing dishes and collecting clothes considered help?

i didn't argue back like i usually would, if i felt she's wrong..
so she just shut up after that.. ok fine..
my brother came down and started blaming me for
initiating her anger.. and i was like "i didn't do anything!"
and as usual she started scolding both my brothers..
i just tried to ignore her, just in case i kena again!
i told my dad about it as cos he'll listen to me..
so based on this circumstances i like my dad more.. XD

lunch time approached and she still quite mad..
my dad asked us to get ready cos we were going for lunch..
i told him to tell my mum, i don't want to cause any trouble..
i was dressed nicely, went in to the car, shut the door..
then my mum say she don't want to go for the lunch..
she just want to buy some stuff from Tesco.. i was ok at first..
then she continued with "cos
we have no sincerity"!!!!

the moment she said that i was damn pissed and hurt..
my bro just opened the car door and stormed out..
i followed his suit not before telling her:
"actually we discussed this with daddy yesterday!"
my tears started rolling and i didn't look back..

my mum can be really nice to people..
rush up and down for everyone except herself..
but sometimes she is really a pain in the ass
or being too sensitive about things that she shouldn't be..
and i felt like giving her a punch during those times!
i would wish i could stay further away from her..
so that i won't end up being like her!

if i am willing to fork out a quarter of my monthly allowance
on a meal for her, dress up, spend time with her instead of
my books and not arguing with her..
i believe i am already sincere..
so obviously i am very hurt by her words.. =(

and just now, i was reading my Form 4 essay titled
"The Person I Would Never Forget".. i wrote about my mum..
i cried.. cos i know she'll never know how much i loved her..
as i don't express myself well and can be quite sarcastic..
she thinks i love my friends more than my family..
but actually i feel that it's about the same..
maybe a little more towards the family! =)

after all these, i went online..
i read Shi Wen's post about PM10 and i cried again..
this time because i was very touched!!
and i know i'll definitely miss PM10 dearly!
i actually prepared a post dedicated to my class days ago..
but i haven't downloaded and uploaded the pictures..
so i'll post it up another day when my emotion stabilises..=)

after re-reading this post..
tears rolled down my cheeks like a stream yet again!

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